The Young Clementina, Fontana 1972

D. E. Stevenson

Limericks - DES Plots in Five Lines

by a Plethora of Poetical Dessies
Warning - Here May be Spoilers

There were some Poetical Dessies
Who created limerical nessies
   They may be Plot Spoilers
   But never Pot Boilers
For all of the stories are DES's
new editions

A young Scottish Maiden named D,
Whiled away happy hours on the tee,
   But her favorite pastime
   Was writing, prose and rhyme,
And her fans all now praise her with glee!
   We've been guided on our ways,
   Soothed and comforted on dark days,
And give heartfelt thanksgiving to D!      


The Limerick Muse visited me in the night
and I came up with this:

To finish law school would be right
But young Derek's chances were slight
   So he went right ahead
   And made toothpaste instead
And married Miss Valerie Bright.

Debbie in Massachusetts
Lilias, in green, would be glad
to visit Old Quinings and her dad.
   One day she wore pink,
   Said, "I'm Susan and I think
I shall never eat another salad."

Kathy in chilly, snowy Manassas

There was a young woman named Buncle
Who claimed her cash came from her uncle
    But in truth she'd made money
    From a book just so funny
She ended up doing a bunk(le)

Susan in Toronto
There was a young woman named Bel
Whose job was a kind of a hell
    'Til nice Mr. Brownlee
    Made her feel much less lownlee
He made her feel perfectly swell!


There was a young lady named Holly
Who thought marrying rich would be jolly
   Adam was willing
   But hadn't a shilling
So she married 'Dear Nestor'...what folly!

Debbie in Massachusetts (feeling poetical this morning)
A best-selling author named Kate
Bought the dower house on an estate
   Though the Squire pursued her
   The Carpenter woo'd her
And won Mistress Kate as his mate.

Susan in Toronto
Young Elma, whose father was Green
Grew up, but she seldom was seen.
   Then George brought her out,
   Wilfred acted the lout,
And Peter made Elma his queen.

Susan in Minneapolis

There once was a woman named Charlotte
Whose lover behaved like a varlet
   But Charlotte held fast,
   She reclaimed her past
And Garth saw that she wasn't a harlot.

Barbie France was engaged to a cad
He was crass, he was mean, he was bad
   How to tell Lady Steyne
   Without causing her pain,
Or making the poor woman sad?


The Black Prince, on one fateful night
Evaded a comet in flight
   But the passengers found
   When they got to the ground
Not another survivor in sight.

Susan in Toronto
A nasty old lady named Crease
Whose gossipping tongue would not cease
   Got a lecture from Hester
   And learned not to pester
And now all her neighbours have peace.

This is fun! I'm thinking of everything in limerick rhythm now.
Debbie in Massachusetts
Elfrida got House on the Cliff
With her actor friend she had a tiff.
   Life with Ronnie 'd be sunny
   If they had some money
The Stamps fixed it all in a jif.

Jerri in Arkansas

A hat-shop assistant named Julia
Took a room in a house most peculiah
   She declined to be wed,
   Went to Scotland instead
And her uncle declared, "Hallelujah!"

Susan in Toronto
A young lady linguist, Miss Morris,
Sang "Dashing Away with the Smoothing Iron" in her family Chorus
   Her love vanished from sight
   In war's endless night,
Then escaped and reclaimed his Miss Morris.

An actress named Harriet Fane
Met a man who was handsome and sane
   Thought he couldn't resist her
   But he loved her sister
So her efforts, they all were in vain!


A fine army wife, Mrs. Tim,
Took a job as sort of a whim.
   Her daughter, Betty, fit in with Erica's mood,
   But son Bryan just found his mum's boss "oh so rude!"
Hester could not explain her friend's good points to him.

Deb in Cumberland

Janetta wrote books so romantic
They sold on both sides of the Atlantic
   She tried to explain
   Why she became just plain Jane
But still sister Helen was frantic!

Debbie in Massachusetts
A writer of romance, Janetta
Enchanted each reader who met her,
   Till a young pilot, Ash,
   Said "Your books are all trash,
But I'm sure you could write something bettah!"

Susan in Toronto

When she was young, Minnie Dell had the fever,
For days it would not leave her.
   Minnie would never grow tall,
   But her heart wasn't small.
For the Morrises, Minnie worked like a beaver.

There was a young lady named Lou
Who thought her young man wouldn't do
   His life was all pleasure
   No work but all leisure
Which just wouldn't do for our Lou

Then came the news of the crash
So she did something terribly rash
   She set off on the train
   But it all was in vain
And she felt she had been somewhat brash

So then it was up to our Bel
And she rushed to see him as well
   She begged and she pleaded
   Told him he was needed
All's well. But Bel never did tell!


There once was a lady named Minnie,
Who the fever left stunted and skinny.
   Though her stature was small,
   She had lots on the ball,
And in heart Minnie Dell was not mini.


MacAslan had rented his house
So the Heatheringtons came to shoot grouse
   And they brought charming Linda
   Iain's heart flamed like tindah
The obstacle was her vile spouse.


(Mine was a wee too dark and silly at the same time!)
There once was a driver named Jack
An unfaithful bully off-track
   Alive, oh so scary,
   Iain and Linda couldn't marry,
Donald slew the vile villain for his Mac.

Kristi, feeling that it is a bit disrespectful to refer to MacAslan this way!